Training Children to Be Confident Early

Training Children to Be Confident Early
Training Children to Be Confident Early

Training children's self-confidence is one of the best lessons that parents can give to the Little One. Carl Pickhardt, psychologist and author of 15 parenting books, says children who lack confidence will be reluctant to try new things or challenge for fear of failing or disappointing others.

If this happens, in the end, children will often restrain themselves when they want to do something so that they can prevent the Little One from having a successful future. "The enemy of self-confidence is despair and fear," Pickhardt said. So, as parents, it is our duty to encourage and support the Little One when he faces difficult conditions or situations, such as peer pressure and other challenges at school or at home. 

Benefits of Confident Children

What is self-confidence?  Confidence is convinced that one can or is capable do something. The basis of cultivating a confident attitude is that the child needs to feel safe and comfortable over himself.

Is the Little One confident? Mam can recognize it by knowing the following characteristics of a confident child: 

Focus on the advantages and try to overcome the shortcomings

The desire to succeed when doing something is quite high, so the child is trying to figure out how to cope with his problem.

Dare to take risks

Children love challenges and dare to try new things.

Dare to admit when you don't understand

The child believes in his abilities very much. Therefore, he admits that he does not yet understand.

Keep learning and never give up

The child believes in the learning process, including when experiencing failure.


If the child feels confident, there are several benefits that can be obtained, including: 

Can socialize or make friends

The child is happy to meet new friends. For the Little One, friends can provide a different experience. 

Can see yourself positively

The child can assess the advantages and disadvantages that exist in him.

Ready for the challenge

Children are able to maximize their ability to face challenges. For example, children participate in the election to be candidates for class president because of their courageous ability issued a good opinion.


How to Train a Confident Child

Mam and Pap have an important role in helping the Little One feel confident. Here's what can be done at home:

Fostering the Motivation of the Little One

Motivation as an effort made by children to meet their needs and desires. The child is born with motivation from within himself. Parents play a role in developing motivation in children, not fostering motivation from outside of themselves.

The motivation to do something that is driven from outside the child (for example due to gifts or bribes), does not shape the child's abilities and behavior to be good. For example, the Little One wants to go to bed on time because Mam promises to give ice cream tomorrow.

The right thing is to foster motivation in the child, which is behavior that is encouraged from within the Little One. For example, the child goes to bed on time tonight, because he doesn't want to get up late tomorrow morning.

Wisely Praising the Little One

When praising children, Mam should praise his efforts not the results. For example, Mam can say this when he finishes homework without being helped, "It's great that you keep trying to do your own homework, even though it's hard, kid?"

In addition, praise the Little One sincerely without any hidden messages. For example, "Wow, you keep your promises, finish your homework without being reminded". Avoid saying this yes, Mam: "Tumben, doing homework! Do you want it, right?"

Critique the child in a good way 

When reprimanding the Little One, tell the specifics of his mistakes, not the person of the child. For example, when you see a messy toy, avoid saying: "It's really bad, you!". Instead Mam could say, "The toys are messy, come on, start tidying up."

Alternatively, Mam could use the word "if only..." to show positive effects in the future.  Example: "If you tidy up your toys every time you play, it's easy to find them when you want to use them again."

Mam also needs to help the child understand his mistakes. Mistakes must be recognized, not avoided, but corrected. For example, "So that the toys don't disappear again, from now on, they will be put in the box when they are finished playing, yes."

Supporting children's abilities

Giving the child the opportunity to try many new activities according to his interests. Providing facilities so that the Little One can channel their abilities. For example, because children like to paint, Mam can buy painting tools.

Giving the child a choice

Giving choices means giving the Little One the opportunity to try to overcome their own problems. For example, let him choose between doing homework first or playing games. If the choice is not right, Mam can tell the Little One the consequences he will experience, such as after playing games, he can get sleepy so he can't do homework.

Establishing a pleasant relationship with the child

A good relationship between parent and child will foster a sense of security, comfortable, and pleasant, so as to cultivate the child's self-confidence.

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